Breaking patterns of machismo in the family

Every day, 137 women are killed by members of their own family and less than 40 percent of women who experience violence seek help, according to figures from the United Nations Women (UN Women).

Feminism has not killed anyone, while machismo kills every day.

This is what Coral Herrera Gómez points out, in her book Men who no longer make people suffer for love. Transforming masculinities, from Catarata publishing house.

The Spanish feminist writer and blogger explains that machismo is an attitude towards life in which men consider themselves superior to women.

Feminism is a social movement that fights for equality between men and women, for the rights and freedom of women.

Feminism does not seek that women become superior to men, subjugate and dominate them, but rather, “It seeks to end the structures of exploitation that have us serving, caring and loving men”, she says.

She recognizes that feminism is increasing in some societies, but there is still a lot of work to be done because patriarchy is inside our entire political, social, economic, cultural and religious structure.

Feminism is to shift the patriarchy from science, religion, medicine, sports, parliaments, laws, our economy and also our emotions and feelings.

Coral Herrera Gómez, Spanish feminist writer and blogger

Women can be patriarchal too

Patriarchy is a sociocultural system that considers that men should have power and rule over women.

And despite the fact that the female sex suffers from machismo

“Women are also patriarchal because we were born in the patriarchy and have been educated in the patriarchy”, emphasizes PhD in Humanities and Audiovisual Communication Herrera Gómez, who has also been a consultant for gender and communication in organizations such as UNESCO.

The expert points out that…

“From the age of six, girls assume their own gender inferiority, so it is important to free ourselves from those beliefs, empower ourselves and believe that we are worthy of good treatment, and that we deserve all our rights because we are human beings.

We should avoid actions that promote machismo in the home, such as the unequal distribution of tasks.

“Women in the world have double and triple working hours. One outside the home and the other two at home as domestic workers and mothers. And also as caregivers for people with disabilities or dependent family members”.

Breaking those schemes

For the expert in gender theory, the epicenter of machismo is in relationships and in homes, where it is clear that men have twice as much free time as women, this allows men to have a better quality of life.

From childhood…

Girls and boys must be taught to build egalitarian relationships and, “Be able to make their own purple glasses to see the structural inequality of our society”.

Likewise, we must teach women to become aware that love is not suffering, that love must be enjoyed and that it can only be enjoyed in conditions of equality and freedom.

“A social political cultural revolution is needed to end patriarchy, sexism, machismo and above all misogyny”.

“A change in masculinities implies that men assume that they have to carry out the domestic tasks of upbringing and care in the same way as women, that they have to assume their responsibilities because they are members of a household and in this sense it is important to break down the masculine monarchy that makes all men live like kings in their own home”, she points out.

“Love in the couple can be built to achieve healthy, egalitarian and free relationships in which women do not see themselves dominated or subjugated, in which there is mutual care and all the tasks are shared 100 percent”.

Coral Herrera Gómez.

Whether you are a man or a woman, have you said any of these phrases?:

  • “Crying is just for women”
  • “Pink is not for men”
  • “Men are womanizers”
  • “Washing and cooking are women’s tasks”
  • “A man is strong and brave”
  • “You look like a girl”
  • “Fight like a woman”
  • Yyou run like a girl”

Begin to break the patterns of machismo by rooting out these ideas.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here