Pregnancy involves a physical and mental transformation. For nine months, your body adapts to give life, undergoes a series of changes that do not end by giving birth, and your relationship is no exception. Returning to your activities after the baby is born includes intimacy: What is postpartum sex like?
Both you and your partner must be aware of the significant change that your body went through. The fatigue involved not only in giving birth but also in adjusting the entire dynamics of the home before the arrival of a new member and the physical wear and tear that entails bringing life into the world. Therefore, both must have patience and support each other to find those spaces to connect.
The first 40 days after childbirth, either by delivery or C-section, are called the puerperium. During this period, the woman’s body progressively recovers the characteristics it had before pregnancy, explains the World Health Organization (WHO).
At this stage, there is abundant bleeding called lochia, in addition to colic, a symptom that the uterus is returning to its original size. Beyond these physical changes, you are faced with many other factors that alter all aspects of life, including your sexuality.
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Postpartum sex
After six weeks of giving birth, women can have sexual relations again, according to the Mexican Institute of Social Security (IMSS); however, several factors can complicate this aspect, such as: having had complications in childbirth, if there was a tear that needs surgery or, the lack of sexual desire.
Mayo Clinic recommends that women set their times according to their physical and emotional state. Resuming sexual relations can be a longer and more complex process involving hormonal and emotional factors.
“The risk of complications after childbirth is higher during the first two weeks. Waiting will also give your body time to heal. In addition to postpartum discharge and vaginal tears, you may experience fatigue, vaginal dryness, pain, and low sex drive. If you had a vaginal tear that required surgical repair, you might have to wait longer”.
Psychologist Soledad Sánchez from the Chilean Institute of Reproductive Medicine explains that postpartum can be a difficult period in the relationship, which requires adjustments in the couple and a lot of mutual understanding.
“Many times, couples try to restart their sexual life as if nothing had happened, unaware of the changes, the gap between them, and the need to seek a new form of relationship or a new balance. For this reason, it is necessary to dedicate some time to the subject and support the couple”.
Is it going to hurt?
One of the main obstacles that many women experience when resuming intimacy is the fear of pain. The research Recovery of sexual activity after childbirth, published in the scientific-health journal SANUM from Spain, points out that concern about the state of the genitals after childbirth is another factor that makes it difficult to resume sexual life.
When facing the emotional sequelae, “After childbirth, the good quality of the couple’s relationship is essential for the emotional stabilization of the new mother”, details the study led by Manuela Velázquez Barrios, a specialist nurse in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the Virgen del Rocío Hospital.
“It is necessary for the emotional stabilization of women, to share tasks, and that the couple does not feel displaced. It makes it easier to have common time for the approach and the resurgence of the desire for intimacy, tenderness, and sexual relations”.
Hormonal changes, especially if you are breastfeeding, can make it difficult for the vagina to lubricate and thus lead to difficulty and discomfort during intercourse. You may experience some pain during sex if you are healing from an episiotomy or perineal tears.
Tips to get back to intimacy
To regain intimacy after childbirth, Mayo Clinic recommends:
- Try to ease the pain: Take a hot bath or take an over-the-counter pain reliever; if you feel burning, you can apply ice wrapped in a towel to the area.
- Use lubricant: Preferably water-based to remedy vaginal dryness. This can be helpful if you have vaginal dryness.
- Be creative: Let your imagination run wild to create intimacy; try alternatives to sex. Both of you need to communicate about what makes you feel good.
- Quality time: Find some time to spend as a couple, do something together that you like, and forget about stress.
- Consult your doctor: If sex continues to be painful, see your doctor for an evaluation and appropriate treatment.
Pelvic floor: how to exercise it?
It is the set of muscles and ligaments that surround the abdominal cavity and support the bladder, urethra, uterus, vagina, and rectum; it is normal for these muscles to be affected by the weight we carry during pregnancy.
This muscular structure is essential for various body functions, including sexual function. The AtempoCare Organization points out that a pelvic floor causes us to have less sensation in intimacy and that orgasm is more difficult to achieve.
Given this, the institution recommends going to a specialized physiotherapist to tell you the state of your pelvic floor and the exercises to strengthen it. The recovery of this set of muscles is easier during the postpartum period and up to two years after giving birth.
Inmaculada Santos García, a physiotherapist and member of Top Doctors Spain, comments that hypopressive and Kegel exercises are beneficial for the recovery of this area; she highlights the importance of going to a professional and performing these routines with supervision to avoid injuries.
Do not forget that your body has just given birth and needs time to recover. Talk to your partner, together will find a way to resume intimacy.
Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara
