Friendship among children: Why is it so important to have friends?

From day one to three years of age, the primary sources of love for little ones come from their parents. Once they enter kindergarten, they begin to separate from the family bond to open up to a larger world: friends.

When a little boy or girl begins to socialize, he is faced with new experiences. When he leaves school, he will tell you what he did that day, with whom and what he played, and about his friends. In this stage, friendship arises, and children “discover themselves and reflect through others”, explains psychologist Karla Miranda Vásquez from CreSer Juntos.

Friends are very important in childhood because girls and boys recognize themselves in their peers; they discover that there are people with whom they have affinities: same age, likes, and interests. Not only with the family can they have moments of happiness and joy.

Seeing a world of equals, little ones will want to do things for others and express their affection. But friendship is also “a reciprocal relationship that both parties must affirm,” said José Eduardo Moreno and Santiago Resett in their paper, The quality of friendship in school-age children.

But what can we learn by making friends? For psychologist Karla Miranda Vásquez, through friendly relationships, girls and boys will cultivate qualities such as:

• Cooperation
• Be generous
• Share
• Generate joy and friendliness

The face of a girl or boy reflects how they are living friendship. If he comes home from school sad, his parents should start to find out what is going on in the school environment; ask him about his friends so that he can recognize that such company is not healthy.

KARLA MIRANDA VÁSQUEZ, PSYCHOLOGIST

How to teach girls and boys to be good friends

Conflicts among children are natural. One day your daughter or son will come home from school sad because her best friend said something rude to her. The wonderful thing about this age is that the next day, she will tell you that they played together, that her girlfriend lent her favorite toy and that they have spoken to each other again as if nothing had happened.

The little ones are learning to socialize. For this reason, it is of the utmost importance that they “systematically learn the behavior patterns necessary for effective and satisfactory social interactions at school, on the playground and at home”, according to the Skills Program for Children Early, by Ellen McGinnis and Arnold P. Goldstein.

For the specialist in child development and well-being, Karla Miranda Vásquez, children will have to face and solve life situations on their own, “As parents, we have to guide them and teach them to reconcile and, above all, to build relations from joy, love, and respect”.

It is necessary to endow the little ones with social skills to have a good adaptation to the community. And you have to start doing it from home. Parents must provide well-being scenarios so that from a young age, minors know about:

• Empathy
• Self-control
• Communication
• Respect
• Conflict resolution

A girl or boy who has grown up with love and respect will find it easier to identify people unrelated to him who do not generate well-being, tranquility, and harmony. You have to guide them and explain that a friend is happiness, company, a desire to help and share.

On the contrary, a friend will never make fun of me, offend me, verbally assault me, or hit me. True friends will never make us feel sad. “We have to be very aware of our children’s state of mind to help them. Be attentive to their mood swings or if they show insecurity”, concludes the expert.

Peer group experiences constitute an important developmental context for children. In it, fundamental skills, attitudes, and experiences are acquired, influencing the entire life cycle.

“The quality of friendship in school-age children”, José Eduardo Moreno and Santiago Resett

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here