A life project, a key to couple and family life

In life, going where you want is something you can achieve if you have a plan and a structure about the way you are going to do it. This is interpreted as the elaboration of a life project.

Building a life project implies having deep personal knowledge and mental preparation: knowing who you are, what your values ​​and principles are, which ones are negotiable and which ones are not in order to be very clear about the sense and meaning of life, explains the teacher in family and couples therapy Cristy Cortinas Trujillo, founder of Being Infinite Psychology and Professional Development.

Before planning, “First you should ask yourself what you would like to do with your life,” says the specialist, because the more a person knows himself, the more consistent he will be with himself and will be able to make better decisions.

“The key point to carry out a life project is self-knowledge. Many times we accept what is coming to us. There will be circumstances in which we cannot choose, but in others we will be able to do it”, emphasizes the expert in Gestalt therapy.

Family and couple life plan

After planning a personal project, you can continue to develop a couple’s plan to know the direction that the relationship will take: where you will go together as partners and how you will achieve those goals.

For the psychologist and thanatologist, first comes “my project”; then, “your project”; and, finally, “our project”. She adds that a plan as a couple must have a certain compatibility and the wishes of both must always be respected, “We don’t have to want the same thing, but we do have to go to the same place”.

Developing a project as a couple is complex. It includes a large number of aspects: children, family, education, work, etc. If each partner does not have his/her own life project, it will be very difficult for them to establish the points of a couple plan, so it is important to have one beforehand, the expert points out.

Benefits of a life project

According to the publication “It’s not you, it’s our finances”, from the Federal Consumer Protection Office, when life as a couple begins, in addition to involving the sentimental part, the economic aspect must also be considered.

There are destructive events that happen because the couple does not plan financially. However, “teamwork and planning are the key to achieving financial balance as a couple”, says the publication.

In addition to the importance of the economic part, a life project also makes people more resilient and be able to reintegrate more easily in adverse circumstances. “If they have to go through a crisis yet have worked on what they want, they will be able to overcome it and bring out their strengths”, emphasizes the expert Cortinas Trujillo.

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“A life project allows you to know what you want and why; it is a daily motivation to carry out your plans”.

Cristy Cortinas, teacher in family and couples therapy

Aspects to consider

Before preparing your plan or project, you should think about what gives meaning to your individual life and your life as part of a couple. The expert proposes:

Analyze your context. Ask yourself: where are you (individually and as a couple) at this moment in life and where do you (each of you) want to go? Try to be realistic so those plans can be fulfilled.

Know yourself. Identify your personal identity and the relationship identity. How is the couple and the relationship? What do you both like?

Recognize your own and your partner’s skills. For example, you can highlight staying positive when facing difficulty or doing good teamwork.

Have an action plan. This implies knowing what you want (or both want) and how you (or both) are going to achieve it. Also, it is important to know when you want it and what you need to start.

Don’t lose your essence. Before any life plan, you should not lose your identity. Before being in a relationship and having a project, it is very important that each person’s individuality is never lost.

Having clarity in our life project will make us work for what we want, either personally or as a couple. It will also help children find meaning and significance in life.

“A life project is a path you decide to take; it is our compass or our map”.

Cristy Cortinas Trujillo, teacher in family and couples therapy

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version

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