9 Tips to help your kids make friends

Friendship is very important in our lives. Friends are by our side through thick and thin; they are our playmates, adventure buddies, and confidants. As parents, we are concerned that our children socialize. These tips for making friends will help you with your child.

Not all of us have the same ability to relate to others, much less to have friends; therefore, parents are critical in motivating the coexistence of their children with other children.

According to the NYU Langone Health’s Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, parents play an essential role in developing their children’s social skills and building friendships with other children.

“The socially redirected children had parents involved in their social activities. If your child has problems with a friend, encourage him to talk to them and think about how they can handle similar situations if they come up again”

Remember that not all children relate in the same way, and we must understand that each is different.

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Tips for making friends

The book Redes sociales: infancia, familia y comunidad (Social Networks: Childhood, Family, and Community) shares some recommendations for parents to help their children establish friendships.

1. establish friendships.
2. Talk about friendship: Get together with your little one and explain what friendship means to you and its importance.
3. Facilitates coexistence: You can offer your house so that classmates come to do homework; suggest activities for them to play.
4. Against shyness: If your child finds it difficult to socialize with other children, you can discuss it with his teachers so that they integrate him into the group when doing dynamics.
5. Team activities: Encouraging him to participate in group activities such as soccer, basketball, or being a boy scout will help him meet other children.
6. Consequences of attitudes: Discuss with your little one that the actions he performs have repercussions on the emotions of those around him. If necessary, go to a professional to help him work on his feelings and attitudes.
7. Limit time in front of screens: The use of technology makes children isolate themselves, so you must promote activities at home to encourage them to live among children, which involves leaving the house, such as going to the park.
8. Respect their style: We are not all the same; some little ones like to be surrounded by people, others prefer a smaller circle, it all depends on their personality. Encourage him to interact without forcing him.
9. Play at home: Carry out activities with clear rules to explain how to be kind and respectful. These skills will be learned and applied in school.
10. Express feelings: Talk to your child, listen to what he feels; in this way, he will learn to express his feelings.

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Why doesn’t my child have friends?

Carlos Gutiérrez, a psychologist at the Northwest Psychological Institute, explained that children isolate themselves due to their personality or a pathological cause; we parents have to be very attentive to identify our children’s behavior.

“Children by nature make friends, play and run and thus begin to develop friendships. If that doesn’t happen in the early years, there is a problem; it may be autism or many other causes. But if the child does have that contact and then isolates himself, something happens in his family relationship”

The levels of stress to which a child is exposed or different parenting styles at home can alter his behavior, which will be reflected in how he interacts socially.

Another situation that can affect the interaction of our children is bullying. If your little one tells you that they are bothering him or that no one wants to play with him, you should listen and talk to him. If he suffers from bullying, you need to notify the educational authorities so that they can intervene and take the necessary measures.

Dr. Gutiérrez recommends that we include him in the group when seeing an isolated child and help him live with others. Always respect the personality of the little one, as well as his tastes, without forcing him.

If you detect that your child isolates himself or has changes in his behavior, you must seek help from a specialist to find the cause.

The importance of friends

Friendship is a necessity for healthy psychosocial development. The Sant Joan de Déu Hospital in Barcelona in Spain indicates that children with friends enjoy a state of optimal well-being and better self-esteem and have fewer social problems in adulthood than children who do not have friends.

In contrast, children with trouble making friends are more likely to feel lonely, be teased by their peers, have academic problems, and engage in destructive behaviors.

The institution highlights that the younger the children are when they start having friends, the more likely they will establish friendships later. 75% of preschool children have friends, and in adolescence, between 80 and 90% say they have friends, usually indicating that one or two are the best and the others are good.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here